My Hijab Story

I know there are probably so many stories online titled “My Hijab Story,” and I pondered for a while if I should even share mine. When I encountered the other stories, the women seemed to have gone through life threatening cases or scenarios where they thought they weren’t being the best Muslimah’s. 

A girl in one story I found on YouTube a few years ago stated she used to be the life of the party and had haram habits, but decided to wear hijab because her house burned on fire and that opened her eyes to realize that she needs to change her bad habits now because she doesn’t know when her last day on Earth will be. My story is not as hyperbolic. I didn’t lose a loved one, I was never the life of the party, and I didn’t have a near death experience. 

I started wearing hijab my senior year of high school. I wished I started earlier, but truthfully, I did not know it was an obligation to wear it unless you’re in the mosque. That might sound unbelievable or shocking to some, but I promise that I am being real with you. I wear the hijab because it is a pivotal step for me to feel closer to God on top of the five daily prayers.

I had no idea about the ruling that we must wear the hijab once our period starts. I grew up only seeing mothers and older women wearing proper hijab. I was told by my peers that we’re young so we don’t have to wear it. The only time I saw young women wearing the hijab was when they were getting married or if their parents forced them to. Then I thought, I’ll just wear it once I am married, but I do wish to wear it now. 

In the after school programs I attended while in high school, I would admire the hijabi’s my age or slightly older because to me it takes courage to fully represent your religion on the outside (for any religious person in general even if they’re not Muslim). Being around them made the idea of wearing the hijab progressively easier. It’s ironic now because almost every single girl who inspired me to wear my hijab has taken theirs off. It’s a reminder that you never truly know how people are struggling spiritually. 

I really wanted to wear the hijab before starting college because that was a new environment where no one knew me and I could introduce myself the way I wanted to be seen. To this day, the people I have met from college can’t believe that I used to live life without the hijab. Some girls even get shy when they see me without it haha. I have to remind them that it is okay because we are all girls here. 

 I had known people from my high school since middle school considering the school went from 6-12th grade, and I wasn’t necessarily afraid of how they would react to me because we all knew each since we were 10-11 years old. I was more afraid of the larger world where you see people ripping hijabs off Muslimah’s heads online or the possibility of them making ignorant assumptions about my identity and what I stand for without truly getting to know me. 

In middle school, I had a friend who was asked on Eid if she was a terrorist by adults when she was a child. Being silly, she played a joke on them and said that she knows Isis and has them on speed dial just to see their scared reactions. They started running frantically up and down the block, dodging a non-existent threat 😂. She thought it was silly that they would even ask a child that question, but instead of getting offended, she made the adults the fools of the situation and laughed it off. 

I also started wearing hijab during the time there was increasing press on the conflict with Palestine, so that raised my anxiety on deciding to wear it or not. The bravery of Muslimah's around the world to wear the hijab with the potential of being harmed by those who don’t understand us takes immense courage. I always strive to be a part of the courageous. 

What made me move past these fears is having trust that no one is going to hurt me and that I am protected. I thought if I was not Muslim I would be discriminated against because I am Black. If I wasn’t Black, I would be discriminated against because I am a woman. Sooooooo either way life would be hard. I was not going to let other people’s reactions stop me from living how I want to live. Once you truly live life fearing nothing but God, no person or circumstance will stop you from living how you want to live. 

At the start of my journey, I had a close family member tell me to take it off because I am not a true hijabi. I would reply that I am wearing it because I want to start wearing the hijab. They seemed uncomfortable…

I didn’t have much clothes, so sometimes I would wear a jean jacket on top of a short sleeve top and that family member would say take it off because it’s hot outside. Funny enough, to this day I do not overheat when wearing the hijab, I feel quite cool.

My parents, aunts, and uncles were very supportive. I continued wearing the hijab and built my modest wardrobe to the point where the family member who pushed for me to take it off would send me Pinterest inspiration for outfits and links to buy more hijabs. This goes to show that if you strive for a particular lifestyle, you must ignore the naysayers because they don’t understand the direction you’re driving towards, however; they may end up being your biggest cheerleader as you advance in your journey. 

I never really dressed immodest anyways. I just didn’t cover my head. I get cold easily and have always prefer to cover up. My plan once I started wearing hijab was to never take it off, and Alhamdoulliah I have been wearing hijab consistently since the fall of 2021! The activities and garments that aren’t really my vibe are haram, so I guess it was easy to gravitate towards Islam as I got older since many haram habits never enticed me. This doesn’t mean that I am the perfect Muslimah either; I am trying my best. I find people respect my boundaries when I say “no” more now that I have a religious excuse behind it … hehe. 

There is so much more I would like to share, but I think sending this introduction to the world before going in depth about my story is the perfect soft launch. If you’re thinking of veiling, please go for it even if you feel uncomfortable at the beginning. I started off wearing the turban for my first week then the second week I wore the hijab that follows the Islamic law by covering my neck. Ease into it if you have to because where you start is not going to be where you end. 

If you take anything away from this article let it be these: 

Love, 

Djeneba